Fern Resort is located nine kilometers of driving to the south of Mae Hong Son.
Other places we have stayed in Thailand had “resort” in the name, but this is the first that came close to actually warranting the word in the way that Americans think of a resort.
The place is a complex of upscale bungalows dispersed on well-manicured grounds; complete with a restaurant, separate bar, and swimming pool.
The walkways are cement. The landscaping is immaculate. There is a system of tiny streams running throughout the complex. There’s even a small, representative rice paddy built into the grounds (pretty corny, but on par with the toy taro fields seen at some Hawaiian resorts).
We looked inside three different types of bungalow, and all were nice. The inside walls were finished drywall. All had air conditioning. The furniture is solid wood. The toilets are Western style. The showers are stand-alone (not the water room concept).
The bungalow we stayed in was the size of a small apartment.
Sound nice? Well it is. But this is not so much a place to experience Thailand as a place to bring some of America with you, and from which to dabble in a tourist version of Thailand. A lot of English is spoken by the staff, there are more Western than Thai options on the menu, and there are signs in English to identify and explain various plants and trees (“This is a mango tree…”).
And, like most American resorts, it is located in such a way as to cause you to use its facilities, and then bends you over and sticks you with jacked-up prices. In this case, the resort is nine kilometers from town, offers only four shuttles to and from town a day, and charges US $5 for a large beer (twice as much as other restaurants and bars; and four times as much as store prices). They even charged us for a small bucket of ice.
For us, we were disappointed by the minimal effort at accommodating a vegetarian – much less vegan – diet. Again, a reflection of a Western tourist focus.
An observation on hotels and restaurants in general… When they stay with being a good Thai establishment, offering good local food at competitive prices, or a clean and nice room at a good price, we have been pleased with what we got for our money. However, when they have tried to be a Western outfit – a place that caters to tourists – they have consistently been a disappointment to some degree. Try to be a Western place, and you’ll get measured by a Western yardstick.
That observation applies to Fern Resort. For the corn-fee couple from Iowa who wants to see a version of Thailand that has been diluted to meet their Western tastes, and wants to bring their flush toilet with them, this will be an impressive place to stay. But for those who have travelled Thailand a bit, and are working on their Thai vocabulary, and have gotten used to non-resort settings, and have gotten used to eating real Thai food…well, for them, it’s a bit of a disappointment.
But I’ll be damned if those bug-free rooms and flush toilets aren’t still pretty nice.
